he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize