her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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