he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
