He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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