I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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