he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
high people should be assigned attendants
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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