It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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