I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
