I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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