I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
