Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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