It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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