picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
