I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
false alarm. still invincible.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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