Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize