I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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