Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
