Do you still have your period?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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