Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
