I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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