Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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