i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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