I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A+ Viking dick
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
