Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize