Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He felt like a one man threesome
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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