You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
