Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
