I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize