Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
