She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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