there was a trapeze. enough said
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
