the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
