we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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