He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize