Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
