Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize