for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize