We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
smell my finger.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
