We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Alive.
So much puke
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
