i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
