A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize