dude i'm inner monologue high
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
