I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
