if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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