It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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