You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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