soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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