everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Terrible idea I love it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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