Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
