I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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