I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
