He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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