I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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