my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
