We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
