Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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