We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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