Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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