After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How does one acquire holy water?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
