i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
