yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
