Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
