problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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