Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize